Submitted by: National Harmony Act compliant Editor
PUTRAJAYA: Confirming his credentials as a reformer, the Prime Minister today launched a comprehensive package of policies to ease the hardships of [taxi drivers/longhouse dwellers/college students/civil servants/sun bears/poor people/sedition violators/the elderly/political detainees/, etc.] with benefits funded by Greek style turbo-deficit spending.
The PM pledged that if he can’t reform, he will continue to rename old policies so it looks like he is doing something. He recently introduced the Freedom to Adore the Government Act, the Post-ISA Security Offences Act, and the repeal of the Sedition Act to be replaced with the National Harmony or Else Act.
“It’s funny,” admitted the PM to reporters after the briefing, “Some of these [taxi drivers/longhouse dwellers/college students/civil servants/sun bears/poor people/sedition violators/the elderly/political detainees/<insert swing voter here>, etc.] have been suffering for years, yet the government never thought to help them out until just now leading up to a general election. Its important the opposition understand this is not money politics, it’s just problem solving and the biggest problem we have right now is that this government is about as cool as Michael learns to Rock!”
Recipients of some problem solving from the 2011 Sarawak state election were not so sure about the government’s handouts. One longhouse chief told FMN, “The Department of BN Propaganda came and gave us 2000 Astro dishes for the Sungai Tunoh settlements in central Baleh in exchange for our votes. But the Astro takes twice as long to cook the iban kuih penganan as the old wok and they taste terrible. After 2 weeks we threw the Astros away.”
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