Submitted by Education Editor,
PETALING JAYA: Today the Deputy Prime Minister took time out from plotting to overthrow his boss and as Education Minister addressed the budding future leaders of Malaysia at the Damansara Jaya Secondary school.
He explained to the impressionable youngsters in attendance, “For Malaysia to develop a knowledge based modern economy, we need a knowledgeable and talented workforce to propel the nation forward in a knowledgably knowledge based, innovation driven knowledgably creative visionary knowledgicious kind of way.”
“Young people need to think for themselves and not just clap blindly to any old windbag who is up on the podium talking,” he said to applause, “Nothing worse than a boring old coot that is so out of touch and stubborn that he doesn’t realise nobody is listening to his nonsense anyway. We really think you students have a really bright future and I mean that not in a sports bowling rapist kind of way.”
“Never be afraid to speak your mind and express yourself when you’re praising the government. Don’t step on any portraits or wave a new flag around though for gods sake! We would have to handcuff and arrest you!”
“Demand more from yourself, speak up and criticize things that seem suspicious to you. Leaders of tomorrow need to be able to think for themselves, gather facts and make up their own minds about issues rather than just accepting what they are told. Please believe your government on this matter, otherwise not doing so could be a seditious act!”
One young student inquired during question time, “Tan Sri knowing the government’s commitment to making Malaysian Education world class, why don’t Barisan Nasional leaders send their own children to local schools like ours?”
The DPM chuckled as he replied, “We would like to but we can never send our own kids to Malaysian schools. The purpose of the UK boarding school system is to give rich children the opportunity to network with the children of other rich elite Malaysian students. There, they might befriend a future tycoon, become a nominee in a share-trading scheme or eventually run a suspiciously successful GLC. Our kids can be as dumb as tree stumps but it doesn’t matter just so long as they are well connected when they graduate.”