Malaysia: The 10th friendliest place on earth!

Submitted by Warm hug editor,

Malaysians are very welcoming to visitors once they prove they are not Jewish currency speculators!

KUALA LUMPUR:  The Prime Minister and other Barisan Nasional leaders were thrilled to report this week that Forbes online has ranked Malaysia as the 10th friendliest country in the world after HSBC surveyed thousands of globetrotting expatriates.

“We are very proud of this result,” said the Prime Minister, “I think it is the warm and kind hearted nature of Malaysians themselves that makes foreigners want to visit, launder money and even live here.  People obviously love Malaysia, because we have so many illegal immigrants!”

26 year old tea boy Mohd Saiful told FMN, “I was a college dropout, then a Deputy Prime Minister took time out from his extremely busy schedule to personally meet me in his home to talk about anal sex and give advice on scholarship opportunities!  It really demonstrates just how kind people holding high positions can be here in Malaysia!”

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“I think foreigners are also surprised at how charitable Malaysians can be,” said the bratty son of Minister in the PM’s Department Dato Seri Nazri Abdul Izit, “this really nice timber baron who is buddies with my papa let me borrow his black hummer! It’s great for picking up chicks and a pretty sweet ride too!”

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“Malaysian taxpayers are such forgiving people,” beamed former Malaysian Airlines CEO Tan Sri Tajudin Ramli,  “I flushed MAS down the toilet from 1994-2001 and got to sell my shares back to the government for twice what the market said they were worth!  Nice to get a golden handshake, and several big bailouts here in the 10th friendliest country on earth!”

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“Malaysians are such dear friends that they are willing to accept your faults,” explained Chairman Tan Sri Kok Blok of water meter specialist George Kent Bhd, “We didn’t know a light rail train from a tree stump, but the Prime Minister was all too eager to overlook our inexperience and ensure we got the RM1.2 Billion Ampang light rail contract.  Thankfully there are a few cheaper and more experienced bidders on the shortlist that we can subcontract this project out to once we have banked our profits.  What a great country to do business!  Here, it’s not about demonstrating know how, it’s all about know who!”

Tourism Minister Datuk Seri Dr. Ug Yip Yip told reporters, “While we are very proud of achieving 10th friendliest country, we still want Malaysia to be number one.  I have instructed the Tourist Ministry and other Ministers and their families to go on extensive taxpayer funded technical visits to the Cayman Islands, Australia, Canada, New Zealand and the United Kingdom to learn first hand why these countries are ranked higher than we are.”

 

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