Submitted by Marital Strife Editor
SEREMBAN: Baharom Bin Nasir reluctantly dissolved his marriage weeks ago and has taken the unusual step of deploying a re-election campaign similar to the government’s to continue his term as husband.
“My caretaker husband is a strong UMNO supporter,” said Nur Shalin, “So I should have expected this. He started wearing his own campaign shirts, announcing huge development projects on our home and performing rousing speeches in the living room. He gave me a small BR1M style cheque that I later learned was taken from our family savings. But when I ask him to fix something in the house he always tells me, ‘you help me and I’ll help you!’ He covered our whole home and yard with banners and flags of himself. Last week he rode around the neighborhood advertising himself with his supporters on bikes! When will this madness stop?”
“I think he is only working hard now to win my favor because for the first time he sees there is a real challenger to his position, alternative husband and neighbor Parvez Bin Razali (PR).
“He has no husband experience and I hear he has low moral character,” Baharom told FMN while editing grainy sex videos on his computer, “My wife needs to understand there is no need to get a new husband because I can always change by doing the same thing!”
Nur responded, “This is such a massive waste of money! Why is he using our limited funds to over promote himself and make silly promises instead of just cleaning up his act? If he was more open, honest and trustworthy I might give him another chance but instead he just throws cash all over town and calling himself a reformist! We will have to pay this all back someday.”
“PR my neighbor isn’t perfect by any means but if I give him a chance, I could train him up to be a fairly decent husband. It would be pretty hard to imagine he could do much worse than the cheating, stealing and lying I’ve been living with for so many years!”