Submitted by Biased Historical Documentary Editor,
PENANG: A controversial film shot only last Saturday afternoon was screened for movie critics last night in Kuala Lumpur ahead of a national cinematic release. The new documentary titled ‘Tanda Fiksyen’ depicts imaginary racial clashes at the Megamall Pinang cinema on the 30th August 2013, the night a racially charged government propaganda film was being screened.
The documentary is directed by whizz kid horror film director Jamil Mohd Alias who made the movie to avoid a 2-year prison sentence. He told the press, “My film Tanda Fiksyen tells the story of a group of UMNO heroes who had to overcome Chinese DAP members at a cinema complex. These evil Chinese clogged the ticket line by queuing up to watch real fictional films like Elysium, Pawn Shop or Kick Ass2 instead of the semi-fiction their government wants them to see. My movie is factual in the sense that it’s got less CGI than Avatar, but sometimes to get the people to think what they’re supposed to, you need to take a few artistic liberties and not confuse your audience with facts!”
“Malaysians must never forget what happened last Friday night,” explained Permatang Pauh Umno Youth chief Mohd Zaidi Mohd Said whose selective accounts of the 30th August ended up in Tanda Fiksyen, “We green lit and financed this new revisionist historical movie because now that GE13 is over, we don’t have to play ‘1Malaysia’ anymore. Today we need to keep Malays fearful otherwise why would they need UMNO? Public servants and their families have been ordered to attend screenings at taxpayers expense and soon this version of events will be taught in Felda schemes, schools and universities. It’s comforting to know future generations of Malaysians will be able to learn from the terrible tragedies of 30/8/13 like when a Chinese
guy spilled a coke on the floor of the cinema and UMNO members had to suffer sticky feet, or when a Malay family ordered the sweet popcorn at the cinema snack bar and the sneaky Chinese guy working there gave her the salty flavor!”
“I don’t see why the DAP find Tanda Fiksyen so disgusting,” Said explained, “It’s a free country and if they wanted to, the Opposition could find their own director and finance an alternative interpretation of Friday’s events. Then we could ban it and arrest the makers for sedition.”
One visibly upset man who viewed the new film told FMN, “The Malays in Tanda Fiksyen were depicted as honorable upstanding individuals but the way the Chinese people were portrayed was done in such a manipulative way that it was impossible not to hate those guys! Just thinking about it makes me want to thump a China man in the head, which is odd given that my name is Ko Chung Ming. Who knew movies could be so manipulative?”
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