Submitted by Chip off the Old Block Editor,
ALOR SETAR: The youngest son of Kedah Mentri Besar, Masoud bin Mukhriz Mahathir announced he like his father, will be contesting for UMNO Vice President today. The seven-year old called a press conference and spoke to reporters whilst playing Halo on his Xbox.
“I didn’t plan on running, seeing that members of the UMNO kids club don’t qualify for positions like this, but I was inspired after watching an epic Ben10 cartoon on ASTRO last week. I figured if Ben Tennyson can overcome Vilgax and his Drones, then surely I can challenge Bapa, Datuk Seri Ali Rustam, Tan Sri Abdul Isa Samad and three incumbents loyal to the PM in order become UMNO Vice President.”
Datuk Mukhriz Mahathir was not surprised by the announcement, “My son Masoud is a talented boy. I mean, I’m nowhere near his levels on Candy Crush. I think UMNO should welcome contributions from all quarters and I look forward to the challenge of contesting against him so long as he is home on time for dinner.”
Former Prime Minister Tun Dr. Mahathir told reporters, “I haven’t been this happy since George Soros had a heart attack! Now I have mini me and mini mini me both in the UMNO Vice Presidential race! I have a very good feeling at least one of them will do well at the October party elections!”
“This is a real Malaysian success story,” he explained, “we take the sons of former Prime Ministers who have lived a life of luxury and privilege, then groom them for politics by telling gullible voters that these people are ‘in touch’ with the common man and their problems. A few billion dollars in overpriced infrastructure spending later, everyone comes out on top!”
“We need young people like Mukhriz and Masoud to rejuvenate UMNO with fresh ideas. There’s nothing worse that some old coot in a safari suit lamenting about ‘what’s best for UMNO’ while shielding and maneuvering inexperienced family members up the party ranks. No matter what rubbish these old geezers say, their supporters will always blindly agree out of respect,” he told the crowd to respectful nods of agreement.
“I resent people saying I help my son and my grandson. I don’t need to, they have my name and that is enough. People who upset me tend to resign after one term or turn into homosexuals. Nobody wants that. I’m sure both Masoud and Mukhriz will have a bright future. It’s just merit based party promotions and pure coincidence the current PM is the son of a former Prime Minister. In UMNO, the cream always rises to the top!”