Government raises price of smoking haze

Submitted by Breath of Fresh Air Editor,

The government attempts to tax life's little pleasures.
By taxing life’s little pleasures, the government will have the money to build more tall empty buildings that we can barely see.

KLANG VALLEY:    Coughing up KL’s signature black haze is going to cost Malaysians a little more today after the government shocked producers and smokers alike with an unexpected tax increase.

“I can’t really start my day without a few lung-fulls of sweet haze,” said Mohd bin Batuk a keen smoker, “It calms my nerves and helps me enjoy my morning kopio.  I think the government knows I can’t quit so they hit us up with a price increase now that the election is over!   Anyway I can still go to heaven if I smoke.  My mufti says I might even get there sooner than I expect!”

Tourism Minister, Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Aziz had this to say to journalists, “How should I know why the price of haze goes up?  I am not gay.  Haze is not my wife or lover.  It’s not my problem ok?  I don’t sleep with haze.   I only smoke haze after I sleep with a leng lui ok?”

A smoker attempts to ‘load up’ ahead of the increase.

“All this will do is encourage smokers to travel to other countries to get their haze fix.” said Sime Darby a manufacturer of haze hurt by the increase,  “We already suspect people are smuggling haze into Malaysia past customs officials at airports and borders!”

“This is all leading up to a horrible post-election budget,” said one voter, “There are going to be more ‘sin taxes’ coming our way for sure.  I just wish the Government could subsidise more things that kill us, like they do now with sugar!

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