Submitted by Sugar Crush Editor,
KUALA LUMPUR: Last week the Prime Minister blasted 2,500 delegates at the UMNO General Assembly for not getting with the times. The PM made an impassioned speech for members to embrace new technologies to attract young urban voters who have deserted the party.
“I’m disappointed many of you don’t have email or twitter accounts,” said the PM, “but what frustrates me more, is that many of you are not on Facebook which is where so many important battles are being fought.”
“Where were you when I was stuck on Fudge Islands and Caramel Cove?” the PM shouted to the shocked delegates, “Seriously, if none of you are prepared to give me some Candy Crush lives via Facebook ,I have absolutely no chance at getting through Delicious Drifts!“
“This explains why the PM has been spending 40 plus minutes in the bathroom!” said one of his personal advisers, “His physician told me nothing is wrong with him so I assume all this time he was crushing candy with a lollypop hammer on the toilet!”
“It was actually Candy Crush that encouraged the PM to reach across the aisle to the opposition,” confessed a Wanita UMNO member, “he must be really desperate if he resorts to friending PAS, DAP and PR online just to get through a few candy levels!”
“Yes the Prime Minister did ask me to give him a life,” said one voter, “but given his performance since 2009, I think Malaysians have given him plenty of lives already!“