Jealous of closer Malaysia-US relations, China vows to ‘dismantle’ 2nd Penang bridge

Submitted by Diplomatic Jealousy Editor,

PUTRAJAYA: Malaysia and the United States upgraded their relationship status to “comprehensive partnership” after spending a memorable weekend together.  The news was not welcomed in Beijing.

“I thought Malaysia and China had something special,” said hurt Chinese Premier Li Keqiang, “but after hearing Prime Minister Najib’s sweet promises of ‘long-term partnerships’, ‘improving ties’ and ‘mutually beneficial cooperation’  to President Obama, I see we don’t.  I bet he says that stuff to all the visiting superpowers!”

China and Malaysia in happier times.  Lately missing planes and Sabah kidnappings have come between them.
China and Malaysia in happier times. Lately, missing planes and Sabah kidnappings have come between them.

“Maybe Malaysia thinks they don’t need China anymore?  We might dismantle the 2nd Penang bridge our Chinese contractor built and call in our RM2.2b financing package.  We need to remind Malaysia who its real comprehensive partnership is with!”

Still blushing after a magical Presidential visit, the Malaysian PM phoned Beijing to explain, “China and Malaysia still have a ‘extra comprehensive, long term mutually beneficial, cooperative intimate knowledge sharing, strategically special innovative, new era, relationship,’” he said,  “You still are our biggest trading partner, and you will always mean a lot to Malaysia, but I thought we had an open relationship.   Can’t we still see other people?”


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