New Smartphone App Reveals Who Around You Accepts Bribes

Submitted by Phone Based Business Facilitation Editor,

CYBERJAYA: “Find the perfect autocrat to profit in Malaysia” reads the byline for an ingenious new smartphone proximity app launched today.

MyKroni CEO Deepak Sekhar addressed the gathered press, “for years now, business people have been wasting time lobbying inconsequential public servants and getting nowhere.  Similarly if you’re a public servant with a few lazy millions in your budget, how do you know it will go to someone who will remember to show his gratitude for your support?   MyKroni helps match public and private sector needs, fostering long term business partnerships.”

Mr Sekhar shared some of the first MyKroni entries;

Enthusiastic businessman seeks open-minded politician to approve bid for double track rail system.  I like KTV, golf and overseas ‘technical visits.’ Please contact Bumiguy1972 to exchange emails.  If interested we can have dinner to get to know each other better.  Smoker is OK.  

Politician recently separated from preferred tycoon after unexpected wiki-leaks expose.   Seeks sensitive long-term private sector business partner for lucrative no-bid bridge contracts.  No engineering experience necessary.  I like Lamborghini’s and my son likes the new Audi Coupe.    Please contact UMNOpal59.  (I will not reply to responses without a picture and recent audit.)

I like walks in the park.  Particularly Hyde Park, Hampstead Heath and St James if you know what I mean.  Looking for a guy with a very big package, preferably full of unmarked foreign bills for quick encounter.  Please Contact Alibaba1957

more recommended stories

Follow us for more breaking news