Investigators Sweep 1MDB For Traces Of Anwar DNA

1mdb investigation anwar

PUTRAJAYA:  A special investigative task force has begun carefully scanning 1MDB offices for traces of Anwar Ibrahim’s DNA it was revealed today.

“This probe needs to be very thorough,” said a spokesman, “the Prime Minister has demanded a ‘forensic audit’ into 1MDB so we immediately called on our world renowned ‘Anwar DNA detection’ specialists.”

“Finding traces of Anwar on incriminating emails and international wire transfers wont be easy, but we have 100% confidence our investigators will find something to link the opposition leader to this huge financial scandal!”

 

Anwar went overseas several times in 2009 which where so many suspicious 1MDB transactions took place.  Coincidence? Investigators say there is no such thing!
Anwar traveled outside Malaysia several times in 2009 which was where so many suspicious 1MDB transactions took place. Coincidence? Investigators say there is no such thing!
Shafee has offered to prosecute Anwar over 1MDB on a pro bono basis, provided he can talk about nipple twisting.
Shafee has offered to prosecute Anwar over 1MDB for only RM1000, provided he can talk about ‘nipple twisting’ whenever he likes.
Enraged by these fresh 1MDB allegations against Anwar, several MPs have decided to slowly go bald in protest.
Enraged by possible fresh allegations against Anwar, several opposition MPs have slowly gone bald in protest.
Since the Sarawak Report identified him as a possible 1MDB mastermind, Jho Low has gone into hiding. It is rumoured the billionaire had cosmetic surgery to look like J.Lo so he can still cash his 1MDB bonus cheques.
1MDB has deliberately kept its financial dealings as straightforward as this electric pole installation. This is so Malaysians can easily see if anyone is illegally siphoning off the nation’s wealth.

 

“Many of us were concerned these 1MDB investigations would implicate key government personnel and jeopardise the current leadership, but we needn’t have worried,” said a treasury source, “the first rule of politics is never allow an investigation until you’re certain nothing incriminating against you will be found!”

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