New 1MDB auditor Parker Randall begins tough task of reading through hundreds of scribbled napkins

KUALA LUMPUR:  Newly appointed 1MDB auditor Parker Randall admitted they had taken on more than they bargained for last night, after the self-confessed ‘alternative to the big four audit firms’ received ten boxes of hastily scribbled cocktail napkins along with other financial documents from their newest client.

“We knew 1MDB would be a challenge after its three previous auditors Ernst & Young (EY), KPMG and Deloitte pulled out with the latter telling US officials their 2013 and 2014 audit reports were no longer reliable, but we never expected a wealth fund  dedicated to enriching the nation would be so complicated!” Parker Randal senior auditor Hu Yu Hai Ding confirmed.

“Look at some of these business plans,” the auditor said holding up a few stained scribbled napkins, “this one detailing money transfers to Singaporean banks is smeared with so much Crystal its practically illegible!”

“Then there’s this Hakkasan Nightclub Las Vegas napkin detailing 1MDB’s Abu Dhabi joint venture.  Is this drunken chart scribble with all the arrows meant to read Caymans or Khadem?  There’s so much lipstick on this one I cant make it out!”

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