M’sian Waking From 10-Day Coma Told This Isn’t An Alternate Universe

KLANG: After waking this morning from a 10-day coma and regarding the strange new world around him, a 20-year-old accident victim needed some convincing by Tengku Ampuan Rahimah hospital staff and family members that he hadn’t somehow been transported to an alternate Malaysian dimension.

The man known to his friends as ‘Mat Kangkung’ remembered driving his Myvi while recklessly reading news headlines on his handphone the night of 7th May with the last thing he could recall was reading something about ‘photoshopped crowds at Pakatan Rallies.’

“The patient awoke and started yelling, ‘watch out! fake news!’ after noting several shocking 1MDB headlines on the front page of a New Straits Times newspaper which he couldn’t believe people in his ward were reading and taking seriously,” explained out of the loop post-election disorientation specialist, Dr Abdullah bin Bakar.

“Mat Kangkung assumed the alternate universe meant he was in an episode of ‘Black Mirror’ but he has to stop pinching himself and accept this is Malaysian reality now!”

As the morning progressed, the patient continued to take in latest news updates, “so an ex-PM’s house was raided last night? It must be Dr M whose in trouble. It’s Najib, not Mahathir being busted and Mahathir is PM now? ”he said shocked yet thankful the smartphone on his bedside meant he hadn’t time-travelled back to the 90’s.

“They might end up arresting Najib and putting him in the same cell as Anwar!”

“No, wait, what did you say?

“Anwar is where?”

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