Zoo Negara Pandas To Make Way For Japanese Black Bears

KUALA LUMPUR: Rumours in the diplomatic bear community suggest living arrangements for Zoo Negara’s expensive ‘on loan from China’ pandas, Liang Liang and Xing Xing could change as Dr Mahathir’s newly elected Malaysian government realigns and redefines its ties with the region.

“There are a few scenarios being discussed including moving these famous black and white welfare recipients to affordable housing, so long as they learn not to toss half-chewed bamboo stalks out of upper floor windows.”

“This frees up the RM25million enclosure for the nation’s endangered sun bears.” explained diplomatic bear air-conditioned habitat decor enthusiast Abdullah bin Bakar,

 

Malaysian Pandas

Malaysia’s male panda Fu Wah is expected to show no interest in mating once RTM begins screening World Cup games.

 

Bear diplomacy isn’t always easy.  After a 2015 failed trade mission to supply Australian MRT2 train carriages, diplomatic koala ‘Shane’ later regretted unwanted attempts to bribe Malaysian officials with eucalyptus leaves.

 

Even loving giant pandas can be Chinese tiger mothers at heart. Liang Liang recently told her cub to sleep outside until she masters Franz Schubert's Heidenröslein, and passes the grade 2 violin exam.
China pandas may not make obvious contributions to the economy, but they do still have a ‘Tiger Mother’ side.  Here Liang Liang warns her cub they will sleep outside the luxury enclosure until she masters Franz Schubert’s Heidenröslein, and passes the grade 2 violin exam.

 

“Another alternative is to arrange roommates for the foreign first furry couple.  It shouldn’t be too hard to arrange some Honshu berry trees as part of the RM2.25million annual panda bear maintenance budget to accomodate a family of Japanese black bears.

Officials from Tokyo and Beijing remain tight-lipped on Malaysia’s bear-share proposal, though it believed local diplomats from both China and Japan have initiated secret Judo and Kung Fu martial arts training in anticipation of a possible bear tournament to decide who will build Malaysia’s next mega-project.

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