McDonald’s M’sia Considers Policy Where Only Americans Can Cook Big Macs

Mcdonalds Penang

KUALA LUMPUR:  In the wake of today’s nation-wide foreign cook ban, Malaysian McDonald’s restaurants are said to be seriously considering if Malaysians should be allowed to cook their burgers to protect the authenticity of its American cuisine.

“We may send covert fast food kitchen inspectors to ensure nobody from Asia cooks Big Macs,” said a McDonald’s spokesman,  “We cant risk foreigners messing with our food.  Better to ship over frozen American cooks from Idaho in zip lock bags instead.”

“What is it with all these little cili sos packets?   If just ketchup is good enough for Americans, then people here better get used to it.  What were Malaysians thinking when they invented the prosperity burger with black pepper sauce?  Kiss that nonsense goodbye.  The buffalo ranch chicken burger is the way to go!”

“To many, American food is just stuff to shove into the biggest hole in their faces, but to us, it’s our cultural heritage, our identity, and our culture.”

“Who are these Asian foreign cooks to deprive Malaysian customers of the right to enjoy authentic Chicago fast food?   Sure if they didn’t like RM14 Big Macs made by non-Americans they could eat elsewhere, but don’t you think it’s better we authorities make this decision for them?”

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