KUALA LUMPUR: In a surprising turn of events, the Prime Minister’s dream of uniting the country is finally coming true. Malaysians of all races and ages are finding their disgust at the antics of Datuk Ibrahim Ali, leader of right-wing Malay supremacist group Perkasa has proven to be far greater than their interracial prejudices.
“You know, I don’t care if you are Malay, Chinese or Indian. It doesn’t matter what politics you believe, the food you eat or religion you follow, if you think Ibrahim Ali is a racist, hate instigating dickwad then you’re my Malaysian brother!” an emotional man exclaimed.
“It’s a magical time to be a Malaysian,” said Lawyer Suresh Singh, “people of all races are coming together online and sitting in mamak stalls to talk about how horrible Ibrahim Ali is with his threats to run amok before pretending the word means something else. We have a joke around my practice that Ali can’t possibly say anything more stupid, but to his credit he still somehow tops himself!”
“Ibraham Ali has brought me so much happiness,” said Kenny Hong, “A few years ago in a kopitiam I was joking that Ali has to hide on garbage collection days. A beautiful girl named Asha behind me laughed and we got talking. Today she is my wife and we have two precious little girls. All this love we enjoy as a happy interracial couple, is because of that stupid loudmouthed toad!”
Malaysian Hanafi Bakar told reporters, “I have to admit I was once a bit of a beer promotor harrassing racist, but seeing Ali’s right-wing hatred scared me straight! Today thanks to Ibrahim Ali I find myself reaching out to more non-Muslims to apologize for his disgraceful behavior. I want my fellow Malaysians of other races to know not all Malays think and behave like he does.”
“It seems unfair Malaysians are the only ones to benefit from the valuable lessons Ibrahim provides,” Hanafi continued, “I wish we could share him with the rest of the world. If only there was a country who’d take him!”