KUALA LUMPUR: Swamped by numerous requests from defecting Umno MPs to join their party, Bersatu today confirmed after careful consideration, they would only accept Umno MPs who have less than 10 pending criminal charges.
“9 or less criminal charges is manageable and Bersatu can live with, but anything more is stretching credibility,” a Bersatu party strategist explained noting some senior Umno figures had 40 or more outstanding.
“We remain committed to upholding the trust voters placed in Pakatan because if we fail them, next election they’ll teach us a lesson by voting in a new party which we would all need to hop over to!”
“The vetting process will be comprehensive as part of our 1.5 party democracy. If you were a staunch kleptocracy advocate before the election, all is forgiven if you have less than 10 criminal charges.”
“Critics might joke that Bersatu taking on Umno MPs is like garbage collecting but if you look in most bins you would be surprised how often you’ll find something tasty in there!”