Police Introduce Marie Kondo-Style House Decluttering Service

PETALING JAYA: With the new Netflix show ‘Tidying Up’ proving to be a hit with Malaysians, Police commercial crime officials have agreed to adopt decluttering guru Marie Kondo’s wholesome principles in future raids.

“We find so many hoarders we meet at raids have their houses stuffed full of handbags, jewellery, watches and tiaras they don’t really need,” explained commercial crime investigation department decluttering chief, Shafiq Sharif.

“Now during a raid, our officers round up suspicious items such as piles of Sri Lankan cash someone is claiming was needed to power GE14 reelection machinery, and ask ourselves, ‘will confiscating this stolen loot ‘spark joy’ in the hearts of ordinary Malaysians?’”

“Then, if the answer from our highest self is yes, we bid a grateful farewell to it before folding it and putting it in the van.”

Police say, Marie Kondo Tidying Up recipients still have the option of returning to their cluttered ways, but only if they can convince state prosecutors to declutter by ‘throwing away’ the corruption charges they have against them.

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