Hearts Won In Semenyih Routed To The Caymans

KUALA LUMPUR: In a series of complex transactions, a substantial proportion of the hearts won over by former prime minister, Datuk Seri Najib Razak, have already been siphoned off and routed through to the Cayman Islands it was revealed today.

“It appears a mysterious proxy established a number of shelf companies with names similar to legitimate ones in the Cayman Islands, collected the Semenyih hearts, and sent them there out of reach of the government via Singapore and Switzerland,” explained hoodie hero walkabout support laundering enthusiast, Abdullah bin Bakar,

“It seems by washing these hearts through a safe haven, Najib is building his own war chest of support which will sustain him when his 1MDB trial eventually begins.”

Sources close to Najib say he isn’t responsible for the Semenyih hearts disappearing to the Caymans, as this only occurred due to ‘systematic failure.’

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