M’sians Working In Syria To Be Brought Home By Talent Corp

PUTRAJAYA: As part of Malaysia’s human resources initiatives, Talent Corp has been deployed to Damascus Syria to encourage the Malaysians who worked there as terrorists to return home before they are head-hunted by another organisation.

“We believe we can stop this ‘Insane-Drain,’ of Malaysians crazy enough to fight in an overseas war from leaving the country,” Talent Corp spokesman, Khairul Aziz explained.

“These Malaysians were employed in Syria with job titles such as ‘detonator assembler,’ ‘flag burner,’ and ‘comfort woman.’ Surely after some rehab and incentivising tax breaks, people with skills like these could make a major contribution to Malaysia’s economy,”

“The first step in our rehab programme is to ask these former Islamic State fighters if they have gotten all the terrorism out of their system.”

“Presuming the answer is ’yes’ we would welcome these retired jihadists home to acclimatise back into Malaysian life at our rehab resting quarters. We’re calling these locked overnight accommodations, ‘sleeper cells.’ There, they can collaborate with like-minded individuals and plan their next career move.”

“Just because these former terrorists turned their backs on Malaysia to join an Islamic caliphate doesn’t mean we should hold it against them. We’ve all gone through crazy phases when we were young. I used to adore Lou Bega’s ‘Mambo No.5.’ Now, I don’t know what I was thinking!”

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