By-Elections No Fun Without Handouts, EC Told

NEGERI SEMBILAN: With yet another new Malaysia by-election coming, voters have told the revamped Election Commission (EC) they are really boring now.

“We used to look forward to by-elections. People were getting cash, cooking oil, toaster ovens and petrol. There was this wonderful typically Malaysian carnival atmosphere, but it’s over now,” one jaded voter complained,

“Deciding on a parliamentary representative was simpler too. There was the incumbent handing out cash, and the hard up opposition begging for donations,”

“But today, both incumbent and opposition say they’re broke. If I have to sit through a boring politician’s speeches about imagined religious threats, or 1MDB, the least they could do is buy my vote.”

Election Commission officials have been advised that adding lunch buffets to all Rantau polling stations will get voter turnout up to 153%.

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